On my way

On the eve of my departure, I am reminded that this journey began years ago; I spent a great deal of time contemplating, considering, deliberating, and researching before finally applying. And then I did a lot of waiting and worrying, until January 14, 2014 -- when I composed my first (of many, I hope) Peace Corps-themed limerick:

Twenty score and eighteen days have passed.
Filled near with despair, was I so downcast.
But today have learned,
So patiently earned:
A PEACE CORPS INVITATION AT LAST!

Now, six months later, the making of all of those preconceived ideas, those hopes and fears, the time spent preparing or not preparing, has come to an end. For now, it is finally time to go!

I wish to reflect for a moment on what brought me here, to provide, at the very least, some basis for comparison after the adventure begins.

I first began considering becoming a Peace Corps volunteer when I joined Case Western Reserve University's student chapter of Engineers Without Borders as a sophomore. I found it thrilling to use the engineering and Spanish skills I was learning in school to help people; this organization was my first introduction to international development work. I had decided in high school that I wanted to learn environmental engineering so that I could help both people and the environment. I explored several ways to do this, through my coursework and summer internships, but I discovered that I was most excited by helping people have access to basic human needs -- such an urgent and immediate and profoundly impactful use of environmental engineering -- and I wanted to do more.

Peace Corps was so intriguing because I hands-on learning is the most exciting; what better way to understand development problems -- in their social, cultural, political, economic, and environmental contexts -- than to live those problems myself, and work through the solutions with the people who need to solve those problems the most? And what more challenging way to do this -- under what more extreme conditions to learn communication, organization, and management skills -- than to live in a new culture, speaking another language? The capacity for learning and growth could be enormous.

I hope that being an Environmental Health Volunteer in Panama -- an invitation I was thrilled to accept, since it seemed to suit my skills perfectly (working with rural communities to solve health problems -- many of which involve drinking water and sanitation) -- will also open doors to more work of the same nature, to promote healthy communities and the sustainable use of resources, wherever in the world that may be. I also hope to finally feel fluent in Spanish (as measured by my ability to tell and understand jokes), and to live how so much of the world lives, without the privilege I have been fortunate to have all my life. And I hope that working with, living with, and befriending the members of my community will make one small step in improving the relationships between America and other countries (to which so much damage has been done).

It will be interesting to note, later on, how these expectations compare to my experiences. Perhaps I will one day look back at them for comfort or encouragement, or simply to remind myself at the end of a challenging day how I have come to find myself in some community somewhere in Panama -- and feel renewed by the promise of my hopes and ambitions.

A good friend -- in fact, the friend who wrote my character recommendation for my Peace Corps application -- composed this poem when we were Engineers Without Borders co-leads in college. I wanted to share it because I think it will sum up my Peace Corps feelings pretty accurately:

What you don’t know
Grace Brantingham, October 1, 2011

It will be a long journey
and difficult
and you will not reach your goal.
Will you come?

It will break you, bend you
leave you exposed and
angry. Sometimes.

You will learn much
achieve much
but never what you set out to do.

There will be joy.

Your journey will change you
and who you are
will be lost
To make room for who you will be.

You will be stronger
at the end
and you will wonder if it was worth it.

Will you come?