Gone!

Scarcely had I posted my last thoughts, prepared to return to the land of no electricity, when all of my means of doing so were snatched out from right under my nose.

Aside from maybe a pen or two, I've never had anything stolen from me, so it was rather shocking and upsetting to find myself without a single penny on my person.

I had been in the bus terminal in David after spending a long, frustrating day of doing errands, waiting to get on the bus to go home, talking on my “US phone” (1-216-804-4735 – text me any time for free!).  After 30 minutes of waiting to get on the bus, I finally boarded, sat down, and as the bus began to pull away, looked in my bag for my “Panama phone,” which is in the same small purse as my wallet.

It's not there.

Panic.  Maybe it fell on the floor.  Maybe it's in another of my bags.  Maybe I'm sitting on it.  Increasingly frantic, I tear apart everything near me in search for it.  The guy sitting next to me gets involved, too.  Then everyone near me.  Then the bus driver finally pulls over on the side of the road, turns on the lights, and everyone goes quiet as I try to call the phone.  Nothing.  Starting to sob, I explain that maybe it's back at the terminal – and that I do not have a single centavo on me to pay for my $8.45 trip back to my community.

We turn around and go back to the terminal (only about 5 minutes away).  The place I last remember having it was only 5 meters from where I was waiting for the bus.  We search every inch of that space.  Nothing.  Somehow in the 30 minutes I was waiting for the bus, the purse had disappeared out of my bag.  And I had no idea how it might have happened.

At this point I am sobbing uncontrollably – everything was in that purse: my Panama cell phone with all of the numbers of the volunteers and the office (and at this point in my panic, I cannot recall even the Peace Corps emergency phone number; my mind is completely blank), all of my money (which I usually divide into two different locations, but didn't this time), my bank ATM card, a copy of my passport, my Peace Corps ID and my diplomatic ID, my house keys, my Missouri driver's license… Everything that allows for my ability to functionally live here.

Fortunately, I was able to use the “US phone” to call the hotel where James, a fellow volunteer, was staying.  He arrived to help (and really save my butt), along with the police.  The first thing he said, after checking to make sure I was all right (not physically injured), was that at least everything in that purse was replaceable.  This was true.  In my panic, it didn't seem like it at the time – those were all vital, essential items – but, ultimately all replaceable.  With that reminder, I calmed down enough to call the Peace Corps office, where the Security Officer (who also really saved my butt), helped me through the whole process with the police and getting a new bank card.

I ended up hanging out in David – without any money, save what James gave me to be able to buy food each day – for two extra days before I was able to sort out the bank card and get a new phone.  It was, at the very least, an opportunity to relax a few extra days in the hotel.  I was able to call Ángel, back home, to make sure that the kittens were cared for and to cancel all my plans.  And ultimately, everything was okay.

But I did spend some time reflecting on what happened.  I was angry – first at the thief, who stole $200 from me – which was the only useful thing for a thief in that purse – but more than that, stole 3 days – all the time it took to recover all the missing things that really were only useful to me – the documents, the phone numbers, the bank card.  I was also angry at myself – all of my behaviors the evening that this happened were exactly what the Office had warned us against; the problem was that I had started feeling too comfortable and didn't remember the caution – “too integrated” is how they phrase it.  I did all the things wrong:

1) I was in the terminal in the evening, after 6 pm.  It's a crowded place with tourists milling around, so there is ample opportunity for thieves.
2) I did not divide up my money like I was supposed to (and almost always do).
3) I was completely distracted, talking on the phone, not really paying any attention to my stuff.

The lesson has been learned.  Yet another fear has been faced – getting my stuff stolen in a foreign country – and I will be more cautious.  Fortunately for me, it didn't feel like I was in a foreign country when it happened, because I had the safety net of the Office and friends who could help me out.  And I didn't get hurt, or threatened, or anything – the stuff just disappeared.  I was pretty lucky.

So I returned to my community and got back to work.  I spent the month going on planned visits with the members of my committee to every house in the community so that I could talk to them about the projects I was planning to coordinate – basically serving as a door-to-door salesperson.  The two projects are 1) building a rainwater catchment system using a ferrocement tank, and 2) building a pit latrine.

The challenge – the really tough sell here – is that I am not applying for any grants to do this project.  I am asking the people in my community to pay for the materials themselves, which I will coordinate the purchase of, and then help them construct the things.  My thought is that these are both things that are inexpensive enough that my people could afford them if they saved some money or used the government payments that they receive – and if they pay for the materials themselves, it will guarantee that they absolutely want to have the thing and will therefore care for it and maintain it.  It is often a problem, especially with pit latrines, that if the materials are received for free, there is less appreciation for it, and so – assuming they even bother to use the materials to build the latrine – it is not maintained as well, eventually falls into disrepair, and then is not used at all, while the people go back to the long-standing tradition of pooping in the river.  If they really want to have it – if they are really ready to commit to the regular use of a latrine – they will be willing to pay for it themselves.  The other idea is that, once I leave, there will no longer be a Peace Corps volunteer here to apply for grants, so when more people – new families, kids that grow up and build their own houses – want a latrine, or a rainwater catchment tank, they are going to have to build it themselves.  The idea is to make the community independent of additional outside help, to be able to do these things themselves.

That's the idea, anyway.  I'm cautiously optimistic, based on the enthusiasm – and apparent acceptance of my manner of working – that I saw during my house-to-house visits.  We shall see how many people come to my mandatory meetings – and how many actually put down the money.

I also am trying to move along in the preparations necessary for aqueduct design.  I have offered this opportunity for 4 sections of the community, and one finally accomplished the initial tasks and was ready to move on to doing surveying!  I was ecstatic – finally I get to do some engineering work!!  So I called up Katy, my closest fellow Environmental Health volunteer, and made plans to go survey the area for the pipeline with the members of the Water Committee of that neighborhood.

Katy and I arrived at Ángel's house on the way up the hill, and he stopped me with a serious, “We have to talk.”  Apparently, 5 of the 7 houses in this neighborhood voted that they did not want my help in building the aqueduct.  A nephew of the family, living in the city, offered to do the project himself.

I was confused.  They had led me to believe they were excited to do this – indeed, I had already invested significant time and effort on their behalf – and I had made clear that we were going to try to apply for a grant to do this project.  I suppose I should have been happy – after all, my goal is to make my people independent of outside help, and isn't that what this would be? – but I couldn't shake my engineering bias, wondering whether this nephew had the engineering background to make sure they had a good design, and wondering whether he would go through the effort to make sure the Water Committee was properly trained, that they would be in communication and file for official status with the government health agency.  I felt pretty disillusioned about it.

Instead of surveying, Katy, Ángel, and I returned to my house and built a bed for my mattress.  Then we went on an adventure up the hill to the highest ridgeline, where I had never been before, for some spectacular views.  So I guess it wasn't too bad of a day after all.

Photos:

View from the ridge – and with Ángel, my awesome guide.

Took a break from selling tanks and latrines to enjoy the view during my visits around the community.

I had the opportunity to try out a foot-powered sewing machine!  Mom taught me how to use an electric-powered one when I was a kid, and this was significantly more challenging.  Elsa helped me make the cloth “form” that we will be using to build the rainwater catchment tanks.  And put the Santa hat on me.

I made a mochila for Ema, my teacher, which she thought was pretty awesome.

Why is it that there are these massive electrical lines passing through my community – you can hear them buzzing – and yet no one has electricity?  The inequality of the availability of infrastructure is frustrating.  Just more ponderings...

Culture Shock

January was a busy month of varied experiences, few of which had anything immediately to do with developing projects in Quebrada Pastor (since I spent so much time away):

I worked with my personal Community Projects Committee to prepare my Work Plan and complete my Community Analysis and Development Plan to turn in to the Peace Corps administration, describing everything I've learned about the community with respect to its needs, resources, and organization, and everything I plan to do in terms of primary (Environmental Health-related) and secondary (other stuff) projects.  My training group -- all 50 of us, united again -- attended more training, where we went into greater technical detail about developing our projects and presented our Development Plans.  I hosted a couple friends from the college.  And I celebrated my 25th birthday!

Some highlights of the Work Plan that we developed:

1. Offer the opportunity to organize into work groups, buy materials, and build ferrocement rainwater catchment tanks to the many people in the community who do not currently have water in their houses or whose water supply is inconsistent such that they would want to store water.  My role here is to first sell the idea of this kind of tank, with the help of my Committee -- $30 for an 85-gallon tank is way cheaper than the plastic alternative (about $1/gallon), and then show how to build the tanks, help my community leaders organize the work groups, and coordinate the purchase of materials.  I'm going to try to persuade those who want the tank that they have to pay for the materials themselves -- a hard sell in a community where many things have been handed out for free by the government and other non-profits, and where some parts of the community who didn't work with the previous volunteers don't understand the nature of Peace Corps work.  My thought is that the tanks are not unaffordable for the people in Quebrada Pastor, and they will care for them better if they pay for them themselves; in addition, after I leave, others can follow the same model if they are interested in having the tanks, too.  Part of this will also be to educate about clean water and water treatment.
2. Offer the opportunity to organize into work groups, buy materials, and build pit latrines.  My committee and I will be selling this idea side-by-side with the ferrocement tanks, with the same thought -- those who think it is a significant enough priority to spend $40 on a latrine will be more likely to use it and take care of it.  If they do not have a latrine and do not want to buy the materials, then more education is necessary so that they want the latrine in the first place.  Again, the idea is to be sustainable and self-sufficient in this kind of work.  Everyone is already well-exposed to the concept of a pit latrine, thanks to the work of the first volunteer.  Part of this will also be to rehabilitate current pit latrines.
3. Work with the Water Committee of the central/school aqueduct to make the necessary repairs to improve its function -- so far progress has been a struggle since I am depending on the Water Committee to call meetings...  More motivation may be in order.
4. Work with all five of the existing Water Committees (and any new ones that develop) to increase training and connection with the Panamanian government's water agency.
5. Help each interested neighborhood develop the necessary planning for building an aqueduct.  I have opened the offer to any interested group that I will help them through the steps of building an aqueduct -- starting with forming a Water Committee, measuring the flow rate of the source, locating all the participating houses, forming an agreement with the landowner, developing a system of monthly payment -- and as the groups complete these tasks, we can work on the next tasks -- surveying the line, quantifying the need, designing the components (intake, storage tank, transmission line, distribution system), putting together a budget, and finally soliciting funds.  The best-organized and most-motivated groups will be the ones that accomplish these tasks first, and therefore have the opportunity to seek funding.  It has to be a competitive process because there are at least four neighborhoods interested in pursuing their own aqueduct project!
6. There may be an opportunity to build composting latrines, with the government's environmental agency's help -- there is some interest (since the first volunteer build several, and they are still in use, some with great success), but we have to see what the funding looks like.
7. Miscellaneous other things -- there seems to be some interest in a Trash Management Initiative, in a Women's Artisan Group, in Ecotourism development, in building a School Library... And I will happily help with these things as my help is requested (though I am not going to push any of them too hard... Maybe the trash one).

I would be happy to explain in more detail any of these project ideas, or how the whole project thing works -- just ask me!  (Comment, email, text, phone call...)

With all of the heavy thinking of preparing the Work Plan out of the way, I was excited to attend training (with some quality beach time every evening), followed by the visit from my friends.  Training was great fun, and I was thrilled to see my friends.  However, the visit did not go as expected, in that one of them got sick the night we arrived in my community, and didn't fully recover until after returning home.  As a result, we didn't get to do most of what we had planned.  As Mary Catherine, an infintely-quotable fellow volunteer, told me in response to this: "The only "plan" that Pana-land allows us to make is how we plan to tell the story afterward."  This poignant observation applies to everything that happens here -- and everything in life, really.  What are our experiences other than a collection of our interpretations of events?  So I have spent a while processing this trip, which did not at all go according to plan, to figure out how I plan to tell the story.  I think the most significant personal lesson that I gleaned from all of it is that culture shock -- about which Peace Corps has warned us -- is real.  It can be an adjustment to settle into a new country, to be sure, but it can also be an adjustment to go back to the US.

Granted, I didn't return to US, but instead I got a little taste of cultural misunderstanding that found me here in Panama.  While my friend was sick, I found it very frustrating at times to try to help him handle his illness because he was not responding the way that I have learned how to respond to illness here in Panama.  To me, getting sick has become a somewhat (unfortunate) routine (though I'm hoping for my bowels to stay clean in 2015!), which involves recognizing the symptoms, calling the medical office, and sometimes going to the lab to poop in a cup and get medication.  Sometimes it just involves waiting it out -- lying in a hammock listening to soothing music, or reading in bed in the wee hours of the morning waiting for the next bout of vomiting to come and pass, and then finally eating some crackers and drinking oral rehydration salts as I'm starting to feel better.  Sometimes it means that I will go fulfill my committment for the day -- an hour hike to go measure the flow of a spring source, say, and stopping to have some diarrhea along the way -- and then going to the lab to take care of the problem.  So, for me, desires like wanting to lie down in air conditioning, or seeking out beef jerky (only found in Panama City, to my knowledge), or not wanting to go to the lab or the hospital to take care of things, just seemed like unreasonable ways of handling being sick.

Somehow, in the last 7 months, I had forgotten what it was like to have just arrived here, to have gotten sick the first (or second, or third) time, to feel like I was in a foreign country with no one who could understand what was wrong with me.  I had forgotten how many miserable times it took for me to develop my coping strategies, to recognize how my body responds to certain problems; I had forgotten that, somehow, Panama had become my home, and I had adapted to it, or at least learned how to deal with it.  And, after all, I have all of the support of the Peace Corps medical office staff, who will provide for me whatever I need -- visitors here don't have that luxury.  I had forgotten all of these things, and as a result, I had forgotten how to relate to a friend traveling here from the US -- not a very different traveler than I was 7 months ago.  I think the lesson to take out of this is, just like I have to adjust my way of looking at things, my attitude and perspective, to be able to understand the people of Quebrada Pastor, I also have to be able to adjust my way of seeing things to understand those back home.  This is supposed to be the great outcome of this experiment of living here -- how much can I push my understanding to be able to relate to all different kinds of people?  What does it take to develop that sympathy, that empathy, even?  And, better yet, be that bridge between the different worlds?

So, it probably was not very sympathetic of me (or very mature) to commemorate his illness in a limerick.  Even if that's how I deal with unpleasant things.

He planned a nice Bocas vacation,
Heard tales of amoeba invasion.
So hard did he pray
The diarrhea away,
That he suff'red severe constipation.

Okay, and to be fair, I can't say I've completely adjusted.  There are still some things here I don't understand.  Like my community's explanation of that massive ant invasion after I recently moved into my house:

Invading Formics! (From Ender's Game.)
Ants swarmed the house, a full-scale campaign
I killed every one,
But was told, when done,
Was just the cleaning service that came.

The ants came to clean my house?  That's just too much.

And finally, pictures!

Finished constructing the ferrocement rainwater catchment tank!  Still have to connect the pipes and begin catching rainwater...

Visit to Fort Lorenzo in Colon with friends -- hugging trees, view from the fort, requisite cannon picture, crossing the canal over the lock

Birthday on Isla Colon -- eating Indian food with fellow volunteers!

Adorning my house -- with autumn leaves sent from home, with photos (feel free to send me more!), and with...

Kittens!!  I finally adopted two kittens of the litter that was born on my mattress in November.  They are both girls, but I decided to name them Calvin (the yellow, adventurous one that is a little more independent and ornery) and Hobbes (the gray one that loves to purr all the time), anyway.