Panama Ponderings: February 2016

The first week of February I helped facilitate the Sport and Development camp – a soccer camp for girls put on by a fellow Volunteer and funded in part by the Let Girls Learn Initiative. I brought a 12-year-old from Quebrada Pastor, Milexi, as a camp participant, and Nayelis as a co-facilitator.

The camp focused on women’s empowerment through sport – could I ask for a more appropriate activity in which to participate?! I’ve been wanting to reflect (for a while now) on what I’ve seen and experienced of gender roles while here – now’s my opportunity.

The camp alternated in sessions of soccer skills and classroom activities of subjects relevant to 10-14-year-old girls – teamwork, women’s education, self-esteem, women’s rights, sexual health, and physical health and nutrition. After living in Panamá for 20 months, especially in my Ngäbe community, these really are essential themes that it seems still get insufficient attention in the communities where Volunteers live.

But before I get into that; the camp itself. It was amazing watching the transformation of the girls in three short days, from being so shy they would not even speak aloud their own names to introduce themselves to the group, to working together with enthusiasm and camaraderie in a full-sided soccer match. It was, on the other hand, also amazing (in a rather more frustrating fashion) how challenging and exhausting it was to do soccer training in this context – where the girls lacked the discipline of organized sports that becomes second nature after a lifetime of being told to be on time and to run from drill to drill (or else suffer the consequences – as it was for all the facilitators and me), and where recognition of success is muted or nonexistent, verbal encouragement does not happen, and fear of looking foolish is so strong that the default response to a question is silently avoiding eye contact and covering one’s mouth with a hand. Of course, these challenges were what made the transformation all the more spectacular at the end.

In thinking about the importance and potential impact of doing the camp, I want to share a few anecdotes (and I really have so much more than this) that stick out in my memory as illustrative of gender relations here…

Nayelis is 19 years old. She graduated high school a few months after I arrived in Quebrada Pastor. She told me, at the time, she was going to take a year off to help at home (as her mom had just had a baby) then go to college. She also told me she had no interest in having a boyfriend before she finished her education because she didn’t want to make the same mistakes as her older sister, whose first pregnancy derailed her education plans and who is now 25 and married with three kids.

I found out a couple weeks ago, after asking for months, that Nayelis did not get to go to college this year, because there wasn’t enough money. I was devastated for her. Of course, then I learn that her two brothers, each of whom had already failed a year of high school, were going to be supported as they repeated a year of school. So then I was livid. What kind of priority-setting is that? The family is using its limited resources to support the boys who failed rather than the girl who has already succeeded and shown her commitment to her education? The girl who wants to be a teacher and has already gained some experience helping me at every opportunity with giving training sessions?

During the women’s education session at camp, the Let Girls Learn coordinator from the Peace Corps office, Johanna, explained to Nayelis that she could apply for a scholarship to pay all the tuition, room, and board, just like Johanna had done. Nayelis and I are going to explore that option for next year.

Back in November I helped Katy, a fellow Volunteer, give a Women’s Empowerment Seminar in her community, in which we discussed self-esteem, Environmental Health concepts like water storage and treatment and handwashing, and sexual health and contraception. The women were fascinated by the last part – sexually transmitted infections, condoms, birth control, etc. Katy told me later that one woman wanted Katy to come explain these things to her husband. When Katy arrived at the woman’s house, in her husband’s presence, the woman sent Katy away, declaring that they didn’t need to know these things and didn’t want Katy bothering them anymore. Katy was heartbroken.

I had, early on during my time in Quebrada Pastor, while doing laundry together in the stream, asked a woman what she had wanted to do when she was a kid. She had wanted to be a policewoman. Her father refused to support her education (only giving money to his son for that), so when she met her future husband and he promised to help her go to school, she agreed to get married, at the age of 15. She had been using birth control injections but stopped because she didn’t’ like the side effects. A year later she had a baby. And now, three years later, still hasn’t continued school. Maybe someday, when her daughter starts school, she says. (I know another young woman in the community who is doing exactly this, depending on her mother to help raise her kids while she attended school on the weekends, pursuing a degree in teaching.)

To hear her husband tell the story, he had been looking to get married because, living in a house without any women (since his mother left him and his dad when he was young and his grandmother died when he was 12), he was tired of doing the housework by himself and was looking to have someone help him.

All of this highlights the realities of life for many families here. It is hard to take care of a house by yourself (my standard response to any commentary about my poor housekeeping skills is that I’m looking for a wife, much to the amusement of my community). That practical reality, plus the limited resources of money and available desirable land, leave little wonder as to why things work out the way they do. Sometimes a girl’s only way out of her parents’ house is to get married, especially if her education isn’t valued enough to be supported with the family’s limited resources. Then, lacking access to or control over reliable birth control methods, she had children. Since her husband can’t nurse the baby, it is automatically her responsibility full-time to care for the baby as well as all the household work, while the man has the freedom to leave, seek other work opportunities, travel, have leisure time, etc. As she has more kids, the pattern continues. In this way, the sharp division of labor and rigid gender roles that I see here make some sense. But also not absolutely necessary.

And some of this is changing. During my “Daily Schedule” community analysis meeting back in the beginning of my service, when I asked who has more free time and who spends more time working, the answers were unanimously men and women, respectively. When I asked if this was fair, one man responded – yes, because the man is responsible for planning ahead, for leading the household, for making decisions. But then Alberto jumped up and countered – no, so I always help my wife with chores like washing dishes so that the workload ends up equal. Alberto and Neli, his wife, are great – when we built their rainwater catchment tank, I had them sign an owners’ agreement. They insisted that they both sign, because they are both the owners.

I believe that, little by little, attitudes are changing. There is evidence of that. But there’s still a long way to go. Just the other day, as we discussed rules for work days on the aqueduct project (yes! We have finally started construction!), I heard men say several times that women do not work as hard, or a woman’s day of work is not equal to a man’s, or that a woman does not make an adequate replacement for a man on a work day. Even as I watched the women smile as I shook my head and sputtered in protest, no one would speak up alongside me in our defense.

So we’ll have to keep at it. More girls’ soccer camps, I say.

Photos!

Soccer Camp:

Giving a session about values, goals, and self-esteem, with Nayelis as my co-facilitator

Games for getting to know each other

Dribbling drills

The whole crew!

Other things I've been up to:

Invited Nayelis to celebrate her 19th birthday at my house with her family. Brownie cake and arroz con pollo were enjoyed by all!

Post-Regional Meeting and pre-birthday "bar crawl" in Changuinola with the Bocas Volunteers! Yes, Changuinola is a pretty weird place for a bar crawl, and Tuesday night is a pretty weird time for it. But between the carwash/bar (called Sniper of all things), the tipico dance-off, the muchacho pushups competition, the$5 worth of gambling at the casino, and the bilingual karaoke, it was a fun night.

Helped Chelsea, my nearest Volunteer, with construction of her rainwater catchment tank so she doesn't have to filter and boil her house water anymore. Took a moment to marvel at how ridiculous (and awesome) pineapple plants are.

Birthday celebration at my house! Invited Volunteers and community friends. We had a picnic lunch up at the waterfall, then dinner at my house. Willy made me a cake... made of nampi (a root vegetable) and eggs! (Was kinda like mashed potatoes, and delicious!)