Pride and Tolerance

My despedida (farewell party) at Ema’s was beautiful.  As beautiful as the universal value this family has come to represent – not just to me, but to all of their visitors.

Ema presented me with a gift – a nagua, the traditional Ngäbe dress – made especially for me, custom fit and the colors of my favorite of Elsa’s naguas: yellow and red triangles on black.  Looks like fire in the night.  You decide the symbolism.  (Photo below.)

The gift was perfectly fitting, coming from them.  Ema’s family takes pride in their culture and its traditions, and they wanted to share it with me.  And they wanted me to feel included, part of their family, this symbolic act representing how they have treated me all along.

During the despedida, I finally had the opportunity to thank the whole family, all at once, for how special they are, not just in my eyes, but as other Volunteers have observed to me as well.  This is a family that is proud of their culture as Ngäbes.  They belong to the Mama Tada church (in fact, Ema’s husband José travels to other communities as a preacher of the church), which is a Ngäbe Christian-type church that believes that Jesus spoke directly to the Ngäbe people, that conducts all of its services in Ngäbere, that in other places is seen as isolationist and jingoistic and xenophobic.  Not here.  Not Ema’s family.

Ema’s family is proud of their Ngäbe culture, as Ngäbere-speaking, nagua-wearing, mochila-making Mama Tada adherents.  But they are also more than that.  Because they are also accepting of other cultures, too.  They want to share their culture with others and are open to learning from others about cultures different than theirs.  How else could we have had a Passover Seder in their house, in which both Hebrew and Ngäbere were spoken?  Rather than judge others for their differences, they are curious and ask questions.  Their openness is not about how much exposure they’ve had to other cultures, it’s about their attitude and their approach to people who are different.

When my parents arrived at Ema’s house, tired from the hike and anxious not to offend anyone, Ema immediately made them feel at home, made them feel comfortable, accepted them instantly as fellow human beings in need of nourishment after a tough climb, no questions asked, made them banana soup and eagerly taught them her mochila-making trade, as she had for me.

This, I believe, is the true definition of celebrating diversity: to take pride in where you come from, the parts of your culture that you wish to celebrate, while accepting that there are people of different cultures who wish to celebrate theirs, too – and being open to sharing with and learning from them.  A beautiful balance of pride and tolerance that I witness Ema’s family living all the time.  We can use a lot more of that in our world.

As I consider my upcoming return to America, I think about how much so many Americans need to hear that message and learn from Ema’s example.  It is good and right to be proud of being American, and all the other cultures within that.  But only if we balance that pride with tolerance for other cultures, respecting that other people are different, and being curious about their differences, seeking to understand instead of fear.  It’s about our attitude with which we approach other people.

Thank you, Ema, for sharing that with me, along with everything else.  You have been my abuelita and my maestra for two years – and you and your family are very special teachers, indeed.

Pictures:

Ema gives me the new nagua…

Then it’s time for a photo shoot!

And giving Ema a few small gifts, too.

A few other things going on in Quebrada Pastor:

Latin American democracy in action!  A roadblock to try to get electricity for the school.  These roadblock things have worked in the past.  For the record, I was OBSERVING, not participating – Peace Corps does not permit Volunteers to participate in political action.  So taking pictures, handing out water to people, hanging out in the road to chat with the other people who also happen to be in the road is observing, NOT participating, got it?

Another opportunity to explore Quebrada Pastor’s little slice of the sea.  José and his daughter took me through the mangroves and out to sea in their little dugout canoe on a perfect calm and sunny morning.  Got a great look at Quebrada Pastor’s coral reef, complete with dozens of starfish, sea urchins, anemones, a couple manta rays, thousands of jellyfish, and a the end, a little family of dolphins!  A few came within a 100 yards or so and flipped their tails at us in greeting.  Or perhaps a salute in parting.

The Beker despedida – presented with the Leaf Plate of Honor, signed by the whole family

The Lopez despedida

The Santos despedida

A year later, and Ema’s family has ALMOST finished her latrine – just missing the structure around it for privacy (time scales work differently here).  They promise to send me a picture at its “inauguration.”

Ema walked all the way down the hill in the rain to attend my “big” community-wide despedida!  She escorted me to the event– wearing my princess dress that Willy’s family had given me for my birthday – then spent the night at my house.  Pretty big honor for me, that she would make that effort.

Sigh, I’m really gonna miss this kiddo.  But Chelsea’s going to take great care of her.